I don't do anything without music. I write, I paint, I dabble, I drive, I deliberate, I annoy people, everything I do I set to music. I have decided to set my midlife crisis to music as well. I haven't set the exact soundtrack yet. I figure I have time as I haven't grown the disgusting moustache yet. I don't have any money so I can't buy a sports car. Unfortunately, on that front, I may settle for a really bitchin' model of an Audi TT convertible and pretend I'm not a total loser while I sit on the end of my bed making vroom vroom noises out loud pretending I'm behind the wheel.
Yes, it is early spring in the life cycle of my midlife crisis. I am off to a horrible start really. No money for a car, and I love my wife and can't imagine having an affair. I am far too ugly to pull it off anyway. God, I hate being so predictable. There is nothing I hate more than being just like everyone else. This is just like a man who has everything including the luxury of sitting back and over analyzing his life wondering why you made the choices you have. Wondering why you didn't follow through on doing the things you really wanted to with your life. How do you stop it? It must end on it's own. For me all this thinking is just about work. The crisis is my way of pushing myself to do more, try harder, make something more of myself.
What else is there to this thing anyway? Besides the unattractive facial hair (which I refuse to grow because I may get food in it - see last post), the young bimbo (no thanks), and the car. What else is there? I think I am going to sculpt something. And instead of doing it out of marble or something complicated I have decided to sculpt my image in chocolate. I like chocolate, and in the past three months my new favorite thing to do is tell people to "eat me". If I pull this off I can toss the person a candy version of myself. Besides, my wife loves chocolate and after she reads about the midlife crisis and the bimbos (which for the record I said 'no thanks') it may be the only thing that keeps her from punching me in the face. She can eat my chocolate face. Any one else want to eat me in chocolate?
I like chocolate and I love you, Midlife crisis is nothing more then an excuse to buy a toy we have always wanted, or to have an affair and blame it on our age. You and I we are the lucky ones we have spouses that love us for who we are and put up with our shit. I am so proud of your strength and your talents, trust me this to will pass.
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