Vegas, the dirty underworld told by a repentant man in flannel

I sit in my underwear with little to say.  OK, I don't wear underwear.  I have to confess to you all that I did to go Vegas.  We all know the line which forbids me from uttering what I am about to, but if I were a man of faith, which I am not, and you were my Priest, which you are not, and we were sitting in a little booth...  I would have to tell you everything, and then you could judge me, tell me what to do, and I would be free from my mistakes and misgivings.  No, I am not making fun of religions.  I guess I need to state that as we all know how the entire world seems to have lost their sense of humour about pretty much everything. 

So Bless me Anonymous Internet Person for I have sinned...  I went to Las Vegas to get rich, and stake my claim on the world.  Instead, I took a handicap room (mostly by accident), lost almost everything, had a random person lick my face, and gave money away to people I don't know.  I didn't lose money, I actually gave it away as I won it.  I consumed alcohol at a startling rate, and actually was so drunk at one point I got lost in a casino, and couldn't find my way out.  I ate way too much, golfed horribly, and had a great time overall.  Being as I am old and boring that is about it.  The only vow I broke was the one about getting rich and staking my claim on the world.  Overall, job well done.  The face licking thing haunts me, and generally makes me feel ill.  Although, I do believe the person who licked my face, whom I do not know or remember her name, posted it on her Facebook.  If you know who she is, or have seen the video/picture, please tell her EW! 

Halloween Party Mark I was a great success.  We will be doing again next year - so those of you who missed it will get a second chance.  As for Hall and Oates, well they were a great disappointment to all who looked forward to meeting them.  They kept asking the male guests if 'that was a sock in their pants or if the guy was just happy to see them'.  They drank to excess, and had to be carried into their limo at the end of the night.  They didn't perform, and signed only 2 autographs the entire night. 

I am working on writing something on the fiction front as I promised last week.  However, the two ideas I started were actually too good to give away for free on the Internet so please standby.  I have too much raw stuff going on in my brain to go any further on the personal front.  Good thing I am invisible.  Lord knows no one wants to see a middle aged guy, crying, typing his life story/life issues in his underwear (Reminder: I don't wear underwear).  Oooohhh the perfect over share beginning gets retread with a perfect over share ending...

Face Tattoos and Elder Folk

I have nothing to say that can lead to any good.  There is a stillness where I stand, and yet everything in my life is moving.  Any attempt I make at a comment could end up looking premature or foolish.  So what am I writing?  I get asked if 'I am writing something new soon' quite often.  It nice to have people follow you, but the dangers of expressing true free thought do tend to catch up to you from time to time.  So what do you do?  Do you edit your true feelings?  What if people who know you professionally, but not personally stumble on your inner thoughts?  I suppose the slight anonymity I have created with a pen name helps, but that is a pretty flimsy shield in the world of Facebook.  I'll have you know that I haven't pulled any punches in these posts.  Some of them are a little too close to home, and that hasn't come without a price at times.

I suppose I don't have anything to hide, but maybe I will one day.  Maybe I do now, but I just don't realize it yet.  I don't want to run away from what I have started here, but it is daunting to release your true life stories, unedited into the void.  Especially, when you have an underused talent as a writer of fiction and a driving whim to create absolutely anything.  When you craft words they can sting, they can emote, they can also exaggerate, and outright lie.  I can't imagine any of that can be good for a person's long term outlook.  So what do you do?  Do you go all Rolling Stones and spill your blood all over the stage cause it's only Rock N Roll, or do you retreat to the "normal" world and stay silent?

I had a long conversation about being "normal" today.  I suppose I am normal (now that stings).  I have sought a life of control, and had a distaste for chaos.  Turns out that was a huge mistake in my life.  The safe road is boring, and now I'm old and stuck (how's that for honesty).  I don't intend on staying that way.  I have been quietly chipping away at the bedrock I have created underneath myself.  I am now about to blossom into a beautiful butterfly (don't ask me how).  Basically, I refuse to undervalue myself ever again.  That may be an innocuous statement, but it is a motto I intend to live by and just today I put it into action.  If it means compromising to move forward then I am going to stay still.  No more accepting the normal or the safe road.  I am going to tattoo my face, stop driving and take a pogo stick to work singing It's My Party and I'll cry If I Want To, all the way to work.  Except in winter so that last bits on hold until June (coward).  But the face tattoo that is going to happen.  Maybe a butterfly....  

I have been thinking that I could post a weekly running story of some kind.  Like the serial fiction newspapers used to publish.  Take Sherlock Holmes as an example, except mine would have no crime solving or excitement, just random fictional characters with huge personality flaws and anxiety.  Sounds delicious I know.  Let me know your thoughts.  If you want to read it - I will write it weekly or more if I can.  Why go through all the trouble of selling something when you can give it away for free?