Terminal dumbness and the art of always being wrong

I have these pictures of my pets that dredge themselves up from time to time.  They are hidden in my computer or on my phone and due to my complete lack of competence with anything computerized these things tend to vanish, and then I happen upon them when I am trying to fix something or find something I have lost.  These little moments in time exist because we were able to get one of the dogs or cats standing still for long enough to capture their life on film (do we still call it film?).  I have been thinking about the fleeting life we all live, and the moments that seem endless are really just seconds that pass, and one day these moments will catch up with me.  I suppose it's melancholy or just self-indulgence.  I don't like to dwell on the eventualities of life, but sometimes you just can't help it.

Suz and I have lost pets.  Most of us have I'm sure.  Unfortunately, for us they were just babies.  I don't want to decide whether it's harder to lose a long time friend or a new one.  Either way it's just too hard to want to think about.  Currently, I am sitting in my den while Angus is being a clown, Sadie and Anna just want to be left alone, and Bronte (or Bubba as I call him) is convinced that unless he actually sits on my wife's face life will just not continue.  This is the beautiful moment that will last a lifetime.

This is the only room in the house in which we all sit together.  This is also now the only room in the house in which I write.  I have about 3 hours worth of work to do on my current book, but life has gotten busy and I just haven't made the time.  I have promised myself that I will finish tomorrow so I can get copies out for the weekend and start looking forward to the first draft party.  I plan on coming dressed as a  banana.  Actually, it's just a full yellow spandex suit with a pointy hat, but I call myself Banana Man when I wear it.  The festivities include the 'limbo  under a banana' competition, and the 'two legged banana' race.

I honestly have no idea why I write this blog - I have gone from a man who feared the release of his name into the world - to a man who claims to invite people over to his house to limbo under his banana.  It is a startling turn of events, but honestly these words seem to make small waves, and there are people who know me now that didn't before.  The goal is to find enough people who think these words or the artwork have value.  Lord knows I've questioned the value of what I do most of my life.  I was wrong to spend the last twenty years accepting the solitude and hiding from possible rejection.  If I am the only one who tells myself I'm not good enough - then I will never really know for sure if that's true.  The growing pains are difficult sometimes, but look at me now - spandex and all baby.